Rock Bottom.  What does it mean to hit rock bottom; And do we really have to face hitting rock bottom before we decide to make a change.  I’ve been asked these questions several times by others and even asked myself…”did I really have to hit my rock bottom in order for me to change?” Unfortunately, I’ve discovered over the past few years that “most” (not all) but “most” people are not motivated to want to make a change in their life unless something terrible or unfortunate happens.  I’ve even been surprised to learn that in many instances people have to hit their rock bottom a few times just to make them realize that maybe its time to make a change.

Looking back at my situation I think it was necessary for me to hit rock bottom because I felt so invincible and in control.  At that time no one could of convinced me that I had a problem and that one day alcohol & drugs would bring me down and cost me so many of the things I had worked my entire life for.  My rock bottom was like most peoples; I had been falling for so long and never even realized it until I hit the bottom.  It was if I had awaken from a horrible nightmare, terrified & confused…only this nightmare was real.  The room was real, the blood on me was real and the pain I felt was real.  I was completely clueless to what had happened the night before but I would soon learn that I had been in a drunken fight that left a friend severely injured in the hospital.  Alcohol & drugs had pushed me far enough into the hole I was falling into that I finally hit the bottom.  For the first time in my life I didn’t feel in control; I felt like a little scared boy.  I remember it being so cold & lonely and feeling like there was no way out.  My first instinct was to run; I thought, “maybe if I just run away for awhile, someday when I return this will all be over.”  But something inside me told me, the bottom would always be waiting for me, if I didn’t face it now.  So there I was, standing in the middle of the darkest, most terrifying room I had ever been in, with no light and no one to guide me out and I had only two choices: (1). Find a way out. (2) Or stay.

I did find a way out and I’ll explain HOW in another post but I’de like to go back up to the very first question I asked in this post: What does it mean to hit rock bottom?  Well for me rock bottom meant: realizing I was no longer in control of my life.  Some of you out there may be saying: “that’s not so bad, technically none of us are in control of our lives.”  Well for some that may be true…but that’s never been the case with me.  Until alcohol & drugs came into my life, I was the Captain of my ship and I was deciding which seas to sail…I was in control of my life and addiction robbed me of that freedom.

If you still feel my rock bottom wasn’t so bad then chew on this…In the end, hitting rock bottom cost me losing many friends, respect for myself, respect from others, I was publicly humiliated & embarrassed on social media, my business partners banned me from my own business and even suspended my salary for a period of time.  In the end rock bottom cost me over $125,000 dollars.